Is There Life After JS?

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AlmeríaJS 2018-12-26

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JavaScript Grows

Resultado de imagen de akira tetsuo gif

JavaScript Evolves

Resultado de imagen de backbone js

Resultado de imagen de jquery
Resultado de imagen de express framework

JavaScript Is Everywhere

Elsa Lanchester - The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

JavaScript Is Still Young

Da Fiucha Is Here

EcmaScript 2018

Proposal Pipeline


  • Stage 3: 14

  • Stage 2: 17

  • Stage 1: 43

  • Stage 0: 21


EcmaScript 2030

 

You in Ten Years

FLORIDA canned citrus juices, 1949 ad

Is JavaScript Enough?

🍁~Stay high~🍁

We Should See Other People

Learn One Framework Per Year

The hamster wheel stops for no one!

Learn One Language Per Year

Resultado de imagen de studious gif

Libraries in TypeScript

TypeScript Features


Backwards compatible


Obnoxious


Types take 80% of your time


Obnoxious


Widely used in libraries


Obnoxious

Libraries in C For Node.js

Trash GIF - Falling GIFs

C Features


Extremely obnoxious pointers


Manual memory management


A uniform (and outdated) memory model


Very fast (when stars and pointers align)


Can be called from anywhere (with difficulty)


Very crashy

Libraries in Web Assembly

The strangest part of the lightsaber duel in Revenge of the Sith.

WASM Features


Most of the cons of C


Few of the pros


Should be fast from JS (some day soon)


Should not be written by hand

→ add the drawbacks of C

Other Environments

https://66.media.tumblr.com/dc4ea7a62a94f744aa9bdb1a1a5f605a/tumblr_pa422zYtTL1skkfpco2_1280.jpg

Java Can Help You

http://i.imgur.com/aTMLvyA.jpg

Java Features


Controlled by Oracle


Verbose -vvv

Feels very productive, isn't


Lots of annoying boilerplate


"Hello World" Is over 60k lines of code

Using Spring is 2 lines + 800k lines of XML


Other JVM languages might make it bearable?

Golang Can Help You


This Is Fine Anxiety GIF - ThisIsFine Anxiety Calm GIFs

Go Features


Invented by Google


Controlled by Google


Ungoogleable


Unbearable


Bro's Delight Go

Python Can Help You

Python Features


Beautiful


Slow


Did I say beautiful?


Useful for machine learning

So, not really useful?


Can split-brain the community at any moment

PHP Can Help You

Indian roadside refuse fires produce toxic rainbow

PHP Features


Highly inconsistent


Make a mess, but fast


Enter the world of Wordpress

and abandon all hope


Be despised by colleagues and family

Exotic Languages

https://i.gifer.com/1BTX.gif

Lua Can Help You

Doctor X (1932)

Lua Features


Very simple language


Gets rapidly complicated


Looks like a weird toy always


Only for the pure of heart

Erlang Can Help You


Resultado de imagen de head explode gif

Erlang Features


Invented by an evil genius


Pure functional

No, really


Can only be written with IQ > 180


Will permanently distort your brain


Save the young! There is still time

Perl Can Help You

Indian roadside refuse fires produce toxic rainbow

Perl Features


Uses a lot of fancy characters:

$ # _ & %

Image result for filemon diciendo palabrotas


It can be entirely forgotten in a few years

Into the Unknown

Languages to Look Out For


Elixir

Rust


Kotlin


Haskell


Scala


Rockstar Can Help You

Become a rockstar developer!
Midnight takes your heart and your soul
While your heart is as high as your soul
Put your heart without your soul into your heart

Give back your heart

Desire is a lovestruck ladykiller
My world is nothing 
Fire is ice
Hate is water
Until my world is Desire,
Build my world up
If Midnight taking my world, Fire is nothing and Midnight taking my world, Hate is nothing
Shout "FizzBuzz!"
Take it to the top

If Midnight taking my world, Fire is nothing
Shout "Fizz!"
Take it to the top

If Midnight taking my world, Hate is nothing
Say "Buzz!"
Take it to the top

Whisper my world

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone!

Darwin Awards - Runner Up

Thanks!

@pinchito

Is There Life After JavaScript?

By Alex Fernández

Is There Life After JavaScript?

Presentation for AlmeríaJS 2018-12-26

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