Is There Life After JS?
AlmeríaJS 2018-12-26
Your Host Tonight
JavaScript Grows
JavaScript Evolves
JavaScript Is Everywhere
JavaScript Is Still Young
Da Fiucha Is Here
EcmaScript 2018
Proposal Pipeline
Stage 3: 14
Stage 2: 17
Stage 1: 43
Stage 0: 21
EcmaScript 2030
You in Ten Years
Is JavaScript Enough?
We Should See Other People
Learn One Framework Per Year
Learn One Language Per Year
Libraries in TypeScript
TypeScript Features
Backwards compatible
Obnoxious
Types take 80% of your time
Obnoxious
Widely used in libraries
Obnoxious
Libraries in C For Node.js
C Features
Extremely obnoxious pointers
Manual memory management
A uniform (and outdated) memory model
Very fast (when stars and pointers align)
Can be called from anywhere (with difficulty)
Very crashy
Libraries in Web Assembly
WASM Features
Most of the cons of C
Few of the pros
Should be fast from JS (some day soon)
Should not be written by hand
→ add the drawbacks of C
Other Environments
Java Can Help You
Java Features
Controlled by Oracle
Verbose -vvv
Feels very productive, isn't
Lots of annoying boilerplate
"Hello World" Is over 60k lines of code
Using Spring is 2 lines + 800k lines of XML
Other JVM languages might make it bearable?
Golang Can Help You
Go Features
Invented by Google
Controlled by Google
Ungoogleable
Unbearable
Python Can Help You
Python Features
Beautiful
Slow
Did I say beautiful?
Useful for machine learning
So, not really useful?
Can split-brain the community at any moment
PHP Can Help You
PHP Features
Highly inconsistent
Make a mess, but fast
Enter the world of Wordpress
and abandon all hope
Be despised by colleagues and family
Exotic Languages
Lua Can Help You
Lua Features
Very simple language
Gets rapidly complicated
Looks like a weird toy always
Only for the pure of heart
Erlang Can Help You
Erlang Features
Invented by an evil genius
Pure functional
No, really
Can only be written with IQ > 180
Will permanently distort your brain
Save the young! There is still time
Perl Can Help You
Perl Features
Uses a lot of fancy characters:
$ # _ & %
It can be entirely forgotten in a few years
Into the Unknown
Languages to Look Out For
Rust
Kotlin
Haskell
Scala
Rockstar Can Help You
Midnight takes your heart and your soul While your heart is as high as your soul Put your heart without your soul into your heart Give back your heart Desire is a lovestruck ladykiller My world is nothing Fire is ice Hate is water Until my world is Desire, Build my world up If Midnight taking my world, Fire is nothing and Midnight taking my world, Hate is nothing Shout "FizzBuzz!" Take it to the top If Midnight taking my world, Fire is nothing Shout "Fizz!" Take it to the top If Midnight taking my world, Hate is nothing Say "Buzz!" Take it to the top Whisper my world
Get Out of Your Comfort Zone!
Thanks!
