Yet, we also witness that numerous disputes get resolved peacefully

and that long-standing adversaries can become allies.

 Reduce Noise

Consciously limit anything that disturbs understanding the intended meaning of a message (e.g. word ambiguity, tone of voice).

Impulse:

One way of limiting the possibilities for misinterpretation is to convey the same idea in more than one way.

 When speaking, take the perspective of your listener.

As a speaker limit the interpretations that listeners can attribute to your message. The issue, then, is not "What do I mean by this?" but rather "What is my counterpart likely to understand this to mean?"


Impulse:

When formulating a message, actively consider what the listener will take your words to
 mean.

When listening, try to understand the intentions of the speaker.

We habitually respond to what others say as

if it could mean only one thing. Yet, that seldom is the case.

Impulse:

When listening to a message, actively imagine the variety of meanings an utterance might have.

e.g. Terminology: almost every word has multiple meanings.

Style: one person might communicate an apology very directly, while another more indirectly.

Be an active listener.

As a listener, you are not limited to the role of a

passive recipient, but a participant in a communicative interchange.

Impulse:

As an active listener, you can: 1) ask questions, 2) clarify ambiguous phrases, and 3) invest attention to insure that you and your counterpart have the same understanding of what has been said.

One reason why conflict resolution can fail is when

the different sides are unable or unwilling to collaborate.

In dialogue, the common foe is misunderstanding, and

reducing it can be the first step towards overcoming conflict.