Empathic Mentoring for Developers

Why Should You Care, and How?

Dervis Mansuroglu - @dervismn

JavaZone 2022

Empathy

What is it?

What do you think is the biggest source of innovation and why?

Is it diversity, technical skill, humanity, employee equity, something else?

Satya Nadella

Empathy. To me, what I have sort of come to realize, what is the most innate in all of us is that ability to be able to put ourselves in other people’s shoes and see the world the way they see it. That’s empathy.

Empathy is about deeply caring

Empathy

Ability to feel what another person is feeling, by placing yourself in another's position.

Empathy but not sympathy: When you understand someones feelings, but do not agree on their situation.

Sympathy

Ability to perceive, understand, and react to the distress or need of another person.

Sympathy but not empathy:

When you understand someone is distressed and want to help, but do not understand their feelings.

It all start with you

You have a key.

It can open or lock doors

History

Know your story, know your journey.

Emotions

Show and talk about your own emotions and fears.

Integrity

Adjust your moral compass. Be honest and kind.

Inspiration

Who is your role models? What are their values?

Honesty

Be true to yourself. Speak truly to yourself.

Challenge your inner dragon!

Prerequisites

A summery

Your company

Leaders and managers must embrace diversity, and create a strategy for inclusion.

HR helps you with recruitment, enrolment, and welfare administration.

Teams provide relevant tasks from anywhere between 3 to 18 months.

Colleagues share knowledge, provide feedback and creates social events and networks.

You

You demonstrate trust. You are the safety net around your mentee.

You plan, speak and motivate your mentee on his/hers vision, goals and dreams.

You help your mentee build a network and you encourage him/her to reach out.

You provide support; emotional and technical. You also challenge your mentee.

You

Partners

Partners

Partners are external companies, non-profits, gov. and non-gov agencies.

They help you get in touch with both employed and unemployed people.

Partners might also help you during the mentoring time.

Partners might support you economically and make it easier for you company to take in trainees.

Mentoring

Why?

Your boss

You boss told you so, and you kind of jumped into it.

The money

You get extra cash, and you need the money.

For fame

You want to be famous or celebrated.

To help

Because you actually care and want to help people.

Mentoring

For who?

Unemployed

Employed

Unemployed

Employed

Developers who want to grow within the company.

More than often these people are from underrepresented groups.

Developers in transition between roles/positions.

Developers working towards personal growth.

Wide range of ages, genders, abilities, skills and backgrounds.

Helping underrepresented groups in IT and tech.

Remove the stigma and the negative labels!

Learn about the uniqueness in everybody.

Important experiences:

1. Set aside your political, religious and historical beliefs

2. Have a code of conduct, and fight injustice and hate speech

3. Teach from the perspective and skill level of the students

4. Be available for questions and support

5. Present simple examples and repeat basics

6. Invite inspirational people as co-hosts

dervis.no/teaching-computer-science/

Culture

What is it?

Culture

The sum of values, behaviours and attitudes in the company. 

Strengthen the behaviours you want, and actively make a stand for damaging behaviours.

Culture

Over time, the values, behaviours and attitudes becomes your culture.

Mentoring

How do we do it?

Mentoring

Holistic approach to a person growth and wellbeing.

Coaching

Task-oriented training to grow a skill or set of skills.

Plan

Here is how we did it:

2 days workshop for mentors & mentees.

Weekly meetings

1 day workshop for mentees.

6 months

1st week

3rd month

Feedback 1

Bi-weekly meetings

6 months

Feedback 2

Transition to job

Start

12 months

Feedback 4

Interview techniques, technical workshops

15 months

15 months

Feedback 5

9 months

Feedback 3

Employability

workshops 

9 months

Building trust and safety

Personal & interpersonal skills

Think long-term

Effect over time, not change on time.

Building skills, confidence and trust takes time. Be patient, it's worth it!

Many victories along the way!

Growth Mindset

Attitude

Individuals who believe their talents can be developed (through hard work, good strategies, and input from others) have a growth mindset. They tend to achieve more than those with a more fixed mindset (those who believe their talents are innate gifts). This is because they worry less about looking smart and they put more energy into learning.

Product Development

Prefer product over project

Stuff that does not work well:
- Command & control driven managers
- Waterfall projects & tight deadlines
- Misaligned teams (ref. Kniberg's model, Spotify)

Feedback

How do we give feedback?

Because you did/said ....

I felt ....

so that I couldn't/didn't/wouldn't ....

Here is how it could be

better ....

Teams

Building teams is hard

Alexis Sánchez

• 2015 Arsenal's Player of the Year
• 2015 PFA Fans' Player of the Year
• 2015 PFA Team of the Year
• 2015 Chile, Copa América winner
• 2016 Copa América Centenario
  (Golden Ball for Best Player)
• 2016 PFA Player of the Year

Arsenal 2014 - 2018

Manchester U. 2018 - 2019

• What happened ?

You might be the best, but you still need a strong team in order to succeed.

Building trust in an empathic way. How?

Its all about communication

Mantra

Your life is not your office, calendar or time sheet.

Mantra

Family and friends are everything!

Mantra

Whenever you feel down, take a day off. It's ok.

Mantra

Whenever you need support, don't worry, I got your back.

Mantra

You say you made a mistake. I say you made a discovery.

Mantra

Only you know you.

Believe in your potensial.

Mantra

How can I make your day and your experience better?

(servant leadership)

Knowledge

Know your people

Educate Your Self

Talk to non-profits, user groups, unions and organisations who work with your target group of people.

Autists

Intelligent developers, masters of finding and remembering patterns.

Can discuss and branch to several related & unrelated topics.

Can deeply analyse problems.