IDS Fellowship Faculty Learning Community, November 2024
Difficult Conversations
General Updates
Progress Reports
Difficult Conversations
IDS Fellowship Faculty Learning Community, November 2024
NRMN Training at UMass Boston
CAM Training is coming up!
AAAS SEA Change + Sloan Equitable Pathway Partners Program
Conference/Workshop at UCLA
Organizer team meets weekly
Buju, Neena, Shannon, Kim, Daniel, Cassandra + Tori
Student Professional Development Sessions monthly
Facilitated by IDS Faculty Fellows
Faculty Learning Community monthly
Facilitated by Organizers
sign-up via Discord #faculty-fellows
Is everyone using it?
Progress Reports
2 minute presentations
1 minute questions
Difficult Conversations
Theory
Breakout Activity
1980 Mary Kay Ash
Praise is so important..
we do not want to add a bitter taste to it!
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Expressing Appreciation in Nonviolent Communication
"You presented your results at the Neuroimaging workshop in such a clear and conscise manner,
that our research group received great feedback,
and I felt very proud and accomplished being your mentor."
Action
Need
Feeling
Let's look an example of a compliment sandwich
and convert it to NVC!
"I really appreciate your enthusiasm and energy in team meetings. Your contributions often bring a lot of positive vibes to the group."
"However, I've noticed that sometimes you tend to interrupt me while I am speaking. Please let me finish my thoughts before jumping in."
"Overall, your ideas and insights are incredibly valuable to the team, and your active participation is a key asset to our discussions."
Positive
Positive
Criticsm
"In our team meetings, I've observed that there are moments when I am speaking, and I get interrupted."
"I feel concerned about this because it affects the flow of my thoughts and makes me feel unheard."
"It's important for me to feel listened to and respected."
"Would you be willing to be more mindful of this and let me finish my thoughts before you share yours?"
Observation
Feelings
Needs
Request
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Expressing Appreciation in Nonviolent Communication
Chris Voss
FBI International Kidnapping Negotiator
Crisis Negotiator for NYC FBI
NYC Joint Terrorist Task Force
Trained at Scotland Yard and Harvard Law
Adjunct Professor at the University of Southern California
and Georgetown University
"The adversary is not the person across the table;
the adversary is the situation."
Mirroring
Repeat 1-3 words that your counterpart just said
Mirroring
Let's the other side know you're paying attention
Treating their views with close consideration
Stops hostility of confrontational people
Leads to elaboration and additional details
Labeling
Give voice to the other side's feelings
"It seems like you are upset.."
"It looks like you need more time.."
"You look like you are struggling.."
Labeling
"What I'm hearing..." or "I think"
NOT
First-person phrases signal that you are your number one priority
Mislabeling
Intentional misidentification of your counterpart's feelings
Gives other side the opportunity to correct you
And receive more information
Accusations Audit
Get ahead of negative emotions
* You:
"Based on all my edit requests, you must think that I am the worst micro-manager in the history of time.."
* Your student:
"No way, I worked with X who is way worse.."
"Unexpressed negative emotions never die. They fester like an infection."
This requires you to be bold and exaggerate.
IDS Fellowship Faculty Learning Community, November 2024
General Updates
Difficult Conversations
