Difficult Conversations
General Updates
Progress Reports
Difficult Conversations
Joanna Dahl
UMB Engineering
Faculty Fellow in 2023
National Research Mentoring Network
20+ years of work
NRMN
CAM
Training 1
Training 2
on each campus
at UMass Amherst
for UMass Boston Faculty
Training 1
Training 2
Two Options
Training 1 (NRMN) in January
after 1/20/26
Training 2 (CAM) in March
during Spring Break
A
Training 1 (NRMN) in December
after 12/12/25
Training 2 (CAM) in January
after 1/20/26
B
for Training 1 we might offer remote/zoom for UMA Faculty
both trainings are 2x 4 hours
put your preference in the chat!
AAAS SEA Change + Sloan EPP Program
Washington, DC 2023
Los Angeles, CA 2024
Baltimore, MD 2025
EPP: Equitable Pathways Program
EPP: Exemplary Pathways Program
Conference
Difficult Conversations
Theory
Breakout Activity
1980 Mary Kay Ash
Praise is so important..
we do not want to add a bitter taste to it!
Chris Voss
FBI International Kidnapping Negotiator
Crisis Negotiator for NYC FBI
NYC Joint Terrorist Task Force
Trained at Scotland Yard and Harvard Law
Adjunct Professor at the University of Southern California
and Georgetown University
"The adversary is not the person across the table;
the adversary is the situation."
Mirroring
Repeat 1-3 words that your counterpart just said
Mirroring
Let's the other side know you're paying attention
Treating their views with close consideration
Stops hostility of confrontational people
Leads to elaboration and additional details
Labeling
Give voice to the other side's feelings
"It seems like you are upset.."
"It looks like you need more time.."
"You look like you are struggling.."
Labeling
"What I'm hearing..." or "I think"
NOT
First-person phrases signal that you are your number one priority
Mislabeling
Intentional misidentification of your counterpart's feelings
Gives other side the opportunity to correct you
And receive more information
Accusations Audit
Get ahead of negative emotions
* You:
"Based on all my edit requests, you must think that I am the worst micro-manager in the history of time.."
* Your student:
"No way, I worked with X who is way worse.."
"Unexpressed negative emotions never die. They fester like an infection."
This requires you to be bold and exaggerate.
General Updates
Difficult Conversations
