Pun fun by Ralph Taylor
I had an IPod problem! I fixed it, this is how!
I named the thing "Titanic", by God, it's "syncing" now!
I was wondering where the sun goes? I stayed up all night to see!
Sure enough, next morning, it finally "dawned" on me!
I'm an avid reader. I read anything around.
I read an "anti-gravity" book, and I couldn't put it "down"!
I know some real bad food jokes, but let me tell you first!
The one about German sausage, brother, that's the "wurst"!
There are several types of illness, that leave you sore and weak!
But, when your bladder is infected, "urine" trouble, so to speak!
I was sorta down and out! Times were hard, you know?
So, I got a job in a bakery, because I "kneaded" dough!
No doctor, I said
Watching his eyes flick,
From pity to surprise,
I am not bipolar,
I am an oxymoron.
I am a calm hurricane,
Making a mess everywhere I go,
and doing it with absolute grace.
A beautiful monster,
The girl you'd like to have around,
But can never tame.
An angel in agony,
With a heart of gold yet hard to love.
Yes doctor, I explained,
It is the ultimate coaster ride.
When I am up, the view is great,
I throw my hands up high,
I live, I conquer.
When I drop,
I take the pain of the fall,
and turn it into art.
There's no need for pills dear doctor,
Why would you want to change,
This painfully shy extrovert,
The life of the party and the buzzkill,
The friend you hate,
The enemy you love.
This is who I am,
Perfectly flawed.
So no doctor,
I am not bipolar,
I am the soul in a robotic world,
A rainbow in a black and white film,
I am an oxymoron.
My dad gave me one dollar bill
'Cause I'm his smartest son,
And I swapped it for two shiny quarters
'Cause two is more than one!
And then I took the quarters
And traded them to Lou
For three dimes -- I guess he didn't know
That three is more than two!
Just then, along came old blind Bates
And just 'cause he can't see
He gave me four nickels for my three dimes,
And four is more than three!
And then I took the nickels to Hiram Coombs
Down at the seed-feed store,
And the fool gave me five pennies for them,
And five is more than four!
And then I went and showed my dad,
And he got red in the cheeks
And closed his eyes and shook his head --
Too proud of me to speak!
Text
CREDIT:
Taylor, Ralph. "Pun Fun." Poem by RALPH TAYLOR. Poetry Soup, 30 Apr. 2012. Web. 7 Dec. 2015
"Rikiana: Poems." Hello Poetry. Rikiana Borneo, 13 July 2014. Web. 7 Dec. 2015.
"Poem: 'Smart' by Shel Silverstein." Poem: 'Smart' by Shel Silverstein. Marketplace Poetry Project, 27 Apr. 2009. Web. 7 Dec. 2015.
And credit to google search for the quotes and unclaimed author poems I found.