It's not your job

to love your job

by Keziyah Lewis

#YouGotThisConf

#YouGotThisLove

she/her

"2 weeks of runway"

getting paid late

lack of management

company taking big financial risks

realized job didn't align with values

lots of busywork

no career progression

groupthink

many new hires with little runway

About me:

Web developer
Digital nomad
JuniorsInTech.com
@KeziyahL

It's not your job to love your job

of workers are engaged at work.

34%

11%

in the US

in the UK

Only

38%

of workers missed a child's important event for work

24%

of working parents say their kids have asked them to work less

2.5

weeks more than the average EU worker

UK workers work

1/3

Only

of UK workers have found a good work life balance

Overview

1. Why I stayed

2. How they kept me

3. What I'd do now

How our brains trick us into "loving" jobs that are bad for us

Strategies employers use to keep workers around

How to protect yourself

The psychology of "this is fine"

KC Green

1- Why I stayed

Bartels & Zeki (2004)

Positive Illusion

"Certain illusions may be adaptive for mental health and well being."

unrealistically positive self evaluations
exaggerated perceptions of control
unrealistic optimism

Taylor & Brown, 1988

Positive illusion makes us think everything is fine, even if it's not.

Positive illusions are why we stick with jobs we know aren't good for us

(Maybe employers know this)

getting paid late

lack of management

company taking big financial risks

realized job didn't align with values

lots of busywork

no career progression

groupthink

many new hires with little runway

Everything will be ok.

Overview

1. Why I stayed

2. How they kept me

How our brains trick us into "loving" jobs that are bad for us

Strategies employers use to keep workers around

2. How they kept me

Strategies employers use to keep workers around

a. hero story

We believed in the company.

We cared about the company.

We fought for the company.

Hero Story

a positive, inspiring narrative about the origins, mission, and operations of a company and/or its founders

humble origins
exaggerated impact on the world
minimization of harm done to society

Humble origins

Steve Jobs' garage

Exaggerated impact on the world

"Pioneering a new model of higher education..."

Exaggerated impact on the world

“You all are part of something that is a revolution. What higher purpose is there?”

- Elizabeth Holmes

Minimization of harm done to society

"...we partnered with Peace Direct, a nonprofit building peace in areas of conflict around the world"

awaytravel.com

Minimization of harm done to society

(Facebook.com)

"It's not enough to simply connect the world, we must also bring the world closer together."

humble origins
exaggerated impact on the world
minimization of harm done to society

We want to be a part of their story.

Hero story:

9/10

42%

people are willing to earn less money to do more meaningful work

of workers want to work for an org that has a positive impact on the world

Are hero stories bad?

No.

But if you're not careful, you might find yourself drinking the kool aid.

(I know because I did.)

"I trust [Founder 1] and [Founder 2]..."

- me to a reporter on the first day of my job

"Originally, Avery had joined for the brand's popularity...but she also had believed in the mission..."

"As the months went by and she got a closer glimpse at the growth and image-obsessed culture, however, she started to feel like the mission was just a smokescreen to get employees to work harder and longer."

2. How they kept me

Strategies employers use to keep workers around

a. hero story

We believed in the company.

b. (forced) familiarity

We cared about (people in) the company.

Forced Familiarity

when companies promote the idea that everyone at the company cares for one another

company appears to have employee best interests in mind

> 50%

of tech workers have a work BFF

70%

of workers say having a friend at work is crucial to having a happy work life

1.4x

more likely to receive praise if you have a work BFF

describing colleagues as "family"
talking about self care & work life balance
encouraging "bringing your whole self to work"
claiming to care about D & I
encouraging transparency and openness
having company values like empathy and compassion

Most of these are good!

But they may not reflect the reality of how companies are actually run.

"and we are not a typical "work hard/play hard" startup. We are responsible adults with diverse backgrounds and interests, who take our careers and our lives seriously. We believe that the best way to iterate towards success is by taking care of ourselves, our families, our users, and one another. We aim for a sustainable approach to work and life, because that is the best way to maximize long-term speed, while retaining clarity of vision. Compassion is our strategy."

npm.com

"In an email to The Register, he said there appeared to be a disconnect between the company's professed values and its behavior."

"There was recently an all-hands meeting at which employees were encouraged to ask frank questions about the company's new direction. Those who spoke up were summarily fired last week, the individual said, at the recommendation of an HR consultant."

If one person was forced to stay, the rest were likely to follow suit. “They exploited the fact that we were close,” she says. “They knew we would take a bullet for each other and they just used it. Everyone was crushed. But they weren’t going to leave if their friends stayed.”

Two things to remember about false familiarity:

more familiarity == fewer boundaries
- fewer boundaries can lead to exploitation
caring about your colleagues & bosses is fine. but don't ignore the power dynamic.

2. How they kept me

Strategies employers use to keep workers around

a. hero story

We believed in the company.

b. (forced) familiarity

We cared about the company.

c. noble sacrifice

We fought for the company.

Noble Sacrifice

Employers pressure workers into sacrificing for the greater good of the company

working long hours or doing extra work
getting paid less or taking a pay cut

“Employees joining Kickstarter sometimes take a salary that is lower than market rate because they believe in Kickstarter’s mission and want to lend their labor to a meaningful cause,” a former employee told me. Kickstarter was supposed to be better than other tech companies. That’s why they worked there."

"The queue of unanswered customer emails kept growing, and the team was too small to keep up. "

"But Caroline knew it wasn’t over. She was overworked and underpaid, but something in her wanted to keep going. “I wanted to move closer to work so I could work more, but I couldn’t afford it,” she says."

While asking for sacrifice, employers reiterate

how employees contribute to the hero story
how much the company cares for them

"if you had told me just a few years ago during the Holidays of 2015 that I would be working with 13 of the most dedicated, accomplished, professional, energetic, lovely, and caring girls I've ever encountered in my professional and person life"

"I hope that you all understand that I have to pinch myself every day, sometimes to wake up because I am very sleepy, but mostly to prove to myself that this life I live is real and is wild and exciting and unexpected and beautiful all because I spend most hours of my week with you all. This past month has challenged us all in ways we never expected when we walked in the doors of Away. I think you all knew you were walking into something special, but I never could have accurately outlined for you what this ride would be like because I am still uncovering new twists and turns and seatbelts and emergency brakes myself. Beyond the sheer number of hours that you have worked and cases you have resolved, the thing that blows me away is how you have all stayed so positive, so optimistic, so light, and so honest amongst challenges from every different angle."