“We need to talk”
How to receive feedback like a boss
Marco Alabruzzo
Engineering Manager
marco.alabruzzo@gmail.com
London Django Meetup
14 March 2023
UNCOMFORTABLE GOODNESS
How does lack of feedback look like
“It’s always being like that, we will never fix it”
“Someone should do something about that”
“Everyone smiles at me, but my last review was terrible.”
Why Receiving and not giving?
+
+
=
=
Good feedback
Bad receiver
Bad feedback
Good receiver
How to receive feedback like a boss
1) Ask for feedback 🤔
2) Brace yourself ⛑
3) Thank and repeat 🙏
4) Clarify 🔎
5) Follow up 🤔
Ask for feedback 🤔
GOAL + BEHAVIOUR = IMPACT
state your
point to your
ask for the
Ask for feedback 🤔
Examples
"I wanted to increase our coverage, so in the last two PRs I did TDD. How do you think that went?"
GOAL
BEHAVIOUR
IMPACT
"I want to shorten our standup; this week I only spoke about blockers.
Do you think that I was giving enough information?"
GOAL
BEHAVIOUR
IMPACT
Brace yourself ⛑
Thank and repeat 🙏
I understand.
Thank you!
I am glad we got each other
Thank and repeat 🙏
"If I understand you correctly, I did X in situation Y, that caused Z"
"Correct me if I am wrong, you are asking me to do X when Y happens"
Clarify 🔎
1) The feedback is relevant, and you already knew
2) The feedback is relevant, but you didn't know
3) The feedback is not relevant to you
ASSUME THAT IS ALWAYS THIS
IGNORE
IGNORE
Clarify 🔎
Examples
To help me understand, can you give me a specific example?
"I never did that, what I did was a different thing!"
"I did that, but what I wanted to do was..."
INVALIDATING
DEFENSIVE
CURIOUS
Follow up 🤔
Your point of view
Feedback
Peers
Mentor
Coach
How to receive feedback like a boss
1) Ask for feedback 🤔
2) Brace yourself ⛑
3) Thank and repeat 🙏
4) Clarify 🔎
5) Follow up 🤔
How a culture of feedback looks like
“I want to improve X; what if we try Y
“I noticed that we tend to do Z.”
“When you tried X, that made a difference.”
“I heard of this before.”
Thank you for listening!
Questions?
Slides available at
https://slides.com/marcoala/we-need-to-talk/