You have ruined javascript



You - yes you. You know who you are

I'm @robashton


Enterprise developer


I've been around


I've seen things


And I am disappoint.


But enough about me

What about you?

You have great good


You have great wine


And you're a lovely audience





;-)


You have bad coffee


But I won't hold it against you

Now let's talk Javascript


AWful language




  'true' == true  // returns false

written in a day


in use for nearly two decades


(apparently 1995 was the year of "take that")

In the beginning


We were wizards


then came jquery


everything as a plugin



$('#thing').accordion()
$('#other').tabs({ onChange: onTabChanged})

never claimed it was ideal


But it worked


But now?

We're writing everything 

as a js client*










*(We really shouldn't, but that's another talk)

And we're bringing our baggage with us


This is not cool


Examples?

"I want to manage my dependencies'


Require-js


"RequireJS is a JavaScript file and module loader. It is optimized for in-browser use, but it can be used in other JavaScript environments, like Rhino and Node."

'require-js seems to be the thing'


'wow, requirejs solves so many problems i never knew I had'


everything is configuration





coffeescript?


Configuration





Static file includes?


configuration





unsupported libraries?



Configuration


Then the real problems start


emberjs






convention over... convention

Shove everything on app


 App.FooController = blah
 App.FooRoute = blah
 App.FooView = blah




Refactor and forget

is this code dead now?



Set up your observers




observe that your observers are observing observers which are observing chaos




Except when they're a binding




or a computed property



emberjs: Taking something dynamic and confusing and making it more dynamic and confusing


a six month old ember codebase 


But it's okay

 you can hire an ember consultant



and angular...

where do you even begin?


"I had a problem and thought to use Angular so now I have a problem directive factory"









(h/t Andreas Brekken )

directives?


 <div ng-controller="Controller">  Hello <input ng-model='name'> <hr/>
  <span ng-bind="name"></span> <br/>
  <span ng:bind="name"></span> <br/>
  <span ng_bind="name"></span> <br/>
  <span data-ng-bind="name"></span> <br/>
  <span x-ng-bind="name"></span> <br/>
</div>

Directives?


 angular.module('docsBindExample', [])  .controller('Controller', ['$scope', function($scope) {
    $scope.name = 'Max Karl Ernst Ludwig Planck (April 23, 1858 – October 4, 1947)';
  }]);

directives are what happen when you take html and js and then vomit all over them

angular is extensible

An Angular "service" is a singleton object created by a "service factory". These service factories are functions which, in turn, are created by a "service provider". "The service providers are constructor functions". When instantiated they must contain a property called $get, which holds the service factory function.




Factory factories?




service factories?




service providers?



"You need all of this because of dependency injection"

Dependency injection


var pony = new Pony(dependency)  

testing a dumb view with some dumb data is dumb and easy


var view = new View(fakeProvider)
view.addPony("Pinkie Pie")
view.render()     .should_contain("pinkie pie") 



you don't need extensibility

you need less code

And now - Javascript vnext

  • Promises
  • Generators
  • Classes
  • Etc

You can polish turds

but why bother?


If you want a better client-side language

  • Idris
  • Fay
  • Purescript
  • Bash





Case study: Google



"Oh what, we have to write js?"


No wai - GWT will save us!





how about making js itself

 look more like java?




Ffs, it's not working - let's make angular js



Everything google do is about trying to make javascript more like java

Causes?


  • Too much time on their hands?
  • Afraid of a little bit of dynamic code?
  • Because frameworks and languages are fun to write?
  • (genuine performance concerns)



Well I've got a message 

for you google

You have done bad


you should feel bad


because you are bad


Why do we do this to ourselves?


lazy?


instant gratification?





"Productivity without much learning"


the only winners here are the consultants




"But rob, how else do you get a large team of developers up to speed?"

time.


if your company wants to do javascript yesterday and you are not already a team of js developers


 then you will fail regardless of technology

slow down


spend time learning





have patience




grow as a team 

not as a flock of sheep

be set free


anyway



We're not doing too bad really

there are some clever people doing it right


npm 
browserify
all the module authors




We are learning as a community

We'll get there eventually


thanks very much

@robashton

You have ruined javascript

By Rob Ashton

You have ruined javascript

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