university writing 30:151

MARCH 8, 2016

"Editing is important, but . . . it's important to remember, however, that the ultimate purpose of writing is not avoidance of mechanical errors but the representation of meaning."

A Student's Guide, p. 364

"if you have a well-developed thesis and a carefully sequenced argument organized into cohesive and coherent paragraphs, many of the sentence-level issues take care of themselves. It’s easier to write effective sentences when their purpose is clear."

Amy Guptill | CC-BY-NC-SA

editing and proofreading

purposes: 

improves readability

demonstrates your process

reflects clarity of thought

"final opportunity" to ensure "quality control"

A Student's Guide, p. 291

differences

"post-revision stages"

difference between revision (rewriting), editing, and proofreading

"finished product" should be linear and logical ...

but "the writing process" is recursive

revision as a recursive process of rethinking and reshaping an essay

editing:

• content

• clarity

• coherence

• conciseness

• organization

editing:

how well does my essay say what i want it to say?

proofreading:

• spelling

• capitalization

• punctuation

• grammar

editing:

• quality of content

• effectiveness of argument & IDEAS

proofreading:

• ​MICRO

• FOCUSES ON SENTENCE-LEVEL PROBLEMS

terminology

[VIA PURDUE OWL]

editing (And revision)

higher-order concerns

proofreading

lower-order concerns

HIGHER-ORDER CONCERNS

• thesis

• audience

• purpose

• development

lower-order concerns

• sentence structure

• word choice (diction)

• spelling

• punctuation

EDITING FOR:

1)CONTENT

• HAVE YOU MET THE ASSIGNMENT REQUIREMENTS?

• DO YOU HAVE A specific ARGUMENT, AND IS IT COMPLETE?

• HAVE YOU SUPPORTED YOUR CLAIMS w/ CREDIBLE INFORMATION?

• DOES YOUR ESSAY EXPLAIN THE RELEVANCE AND SIGNIFICANCE OF THE INFORMATION? 

EDITING FOR:

2)organization / structure

• does your essay have an introduction & conclusion?

• is your thesis at the end of your introduction?

• does each body paragraph relate, in some way, to your thesis?

• are your paragraphs appropriately "balanced" w/ cited material and your own analysis?

EDITING FOR:

3) Clarity

• do you define and explain all unfamiliar terms and concepts?

• does each sentence communicate your intended meaning?

• have you explicitly identified and highlighted important information?

• have you refined or eliminated any ambiguous, vague, confusing, or awkward sentences?

sentence clarity

can you figure out who did what to whom?

"The key point is this: one of the best things you can do to revise for greater clarity is to recast a passage so that the characters are the grammatical subjects and the key actions are the verbs."

Amy Guptill | CC-BY-NC-SA

"Once upon a time, As the sleep of gregor samsa was disrupted by uneasy dreams, his transformation into a gigantic insect was discovered."

“As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.” 
― Franz Kafka, The Metamorphosis

"Another event that connects the colonist and the English together is the event of a hated King in England trying to take away freedom and go back to the old ways. The idea of how much power the King had struck Parliament. After that, the Parliament and the people made the King sign the Magna Carta, which limits the amount of power the King has. The Magna Carta also affected the rights of the American colonies. It practically took away all relationships between the King and the colonies."

[EXAMPLE VIA AMY GUPTILL | CC-BY-NC-SA]

basic strategies

"ORDER" SENTENCES AND CLAUSES from old information to new information

"I'm underwhelmed by the quality of modern cinema, but some movies have worthwhile themes. The ethics of reporting (new) is the topic of a movie I saw recently (OLD)."

"Every semester, after final exams are over, I'm faced with the problem (old information) of what to do with books of lecture notes (new information). They (old) might be useful some day, but they just keep piling up on my bookcase (new). Someday, it (old) will collapse under the weight of information I might never need."

[ADAPTED FROM PURDUE OWL]

subordinate clauses

"plagiarism, because of the internet, is on the rise."

"Plagiarism is on the rise because of the internet."

"because of the internet, plagiarism is on the rise."

sentence construction: 

avoid passive voice

use active voice

passive voice:

obscures the performer of the action by making it the sentence's object (recipient of the action)

active voice:

the noun that performs the action ("doer") is the sentence's subject

"AFTER SOME DELIBERATION, THE COUNCIL CANCELLED THE MEETING." [ACTIVE VOICE]

"THE Meeting was cancelled by the council." [passive]

"the meeting was cancelled." [passive]

change negatives to affirmatives

If you do not have more than five years of experience, do not call for an interview if you have not already spoken to human resources.

Applicants with more than five years of experience can bypass human resources and call for an interview.

[EXAMPLE VIA UNC WRITING CENTER| CC-BY-NC-ND]

USE PRECISE VERBS INSTEAD OF OVERUSING FORMS OF "TO BE"

(AM, ARE, IS, WAS, WERE)

"The implementation of the plan was successfully put into effect by management."

"management successfully implemented the plan."

EDITING FOR:

4) coherence

• does each paragraph transition from the previous one?

• does each idea lead logically to the other? 

• does your meaning/idea develop in a way that a reader can easily follow?

• do your paragraphs strategically use repetition to provide emphasis and clarity?

• ARE TRANSITIONAL TERMS USED TO CREATE "LOGICAL FLOW"?

coherence "devices"

• pronouns

• "demonstrative" adjectives

• REPETITION

• CONJUNCTIONS / conjunctive adverbs

FROM ESSAY DO'S AND DON'TS, P. 27

in addition to helping financially, parents should support their children emotionally. they can show interest in their children's education by asking about courses and professors even if they know little about the subject. If the students are living at home, their parents can provide a comfortable environment for them to study in and not burden them with other concerns. for students living away from home, parents can send them off with care packages of nourishing food and gifts. moreover, staying in contact with the students gives them emotional support. this commitment can create meaningful relationships that help students transition from university to high school.

transition signals

show how ideas relate to one another

EDITING FOR:

5) style

appropriate tone and diction

writing tone is the "voice" you use to communicate your meaning

tone is created through word choice and sentence construction

academic essays are written in a formal tone

how DO I edit for tone and word choice?

OR: HOW DO I CREATE THE TONE THAT SUITS THE OCCASION AND MY AUDIENCE?

avoid words that call attention to themselves rather than the meaning you want to convey

EDITING FOR:

6) conciseness

principle:
 

"If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out." (Orwell)

OR:

Be concise

1: cut or shorten empty words and phrases

"For the reason that . . ."

"due to the fact that . . ."

"because of the fact that . ."

"by virtue of the fact that . . . "

meaning is the same:

because

2: cut unnecessary repetition

"omit needless words!" (E.B. WHite)

"free gift"

"biography of his life"

"surrounding circumstances"

3: simplify cluttered phrases and sentences

"The implementation of the plan was successfully put into effect by management."

"management successfully implemented the plan."

4: eliminate UNNECESSARY 

adjectives and adverbs

"Because a great many of the words in this sentence are basically unnecessary, it would really be a very good idea to edit somewhat for conciseness."

"Because many of the words in this sentence are unnecessary, we should edit it."

[EXAMPLE VIA UNC WRITING CENTER| CC-BY-NC-ND]

workshop:

use the handout to inform your review and your responses

reminder

ESSAYS DUE MARCH 15TH

MARCH 15 - 22 CLASSES

A Student's Guide Chapter 4, 5, and 6