I'm a software engineer. You can usually find me at the local pub, bouldering, or hunting for the best Korean fried chicken in London.
What is NVC?
Non-Violent Communication Assumptions
- Everybody is capable of compassion for others
- All actions are attempts to meet a need
- There are enough resources for everyone's needs to be met. Our choices don't have to be zero-sum.
Language matters. Avoid:
- Moral judgments
- ("You shouldn't have done... This was wrong...")
- Denial of responsibility
- Comparisons between people, present or not
- Language about merit
- ("I deserve ___...")
Components of NVC
- Facts of what happened
- Use objective language
- Try not to generalise; be specific
- How did that incident make you feel?
- Don't rationalise, judge, assess
- Be honest
- What is it that you need?
- In what way was that need not met?
- Make a specific request to a specific person
- Be concrete and positive
- Be open to "no"
- Make an observation
- Describe your feeling
- Express your need
- Articulate a request
What went well 😀
What could have been better 😓
What experiments can we try
between now and the next retro? ⚗
NVC intro + retro qs
By Denise Yu