"Don't worry about me, I'll just get this knocked out over the weekend. Enjoy the party."

#1: Talented Jerks

"I need to be alone for the next 40 hours"

#1: Talented Jerks

"Juniors just slow me down"

#1: Talented Jerks

"If you wanted it, you should have put it in the spec!"

#2: Scared Buttholes

"I just write tests"

#2: Scared Buttholes

"I don't do design"

#2: Scared Buttholes

"Why do you need to see my schema?"

#2: Scared Buttholes

"Shut up and let me code!!"

#3: Anti-Social Twerps

"Haskell would be the perfect choice. What are we building?"

#3: Anti-Social Twerps

"In COBOL times we made our own loops, and our apps were better for it!"

#4: Period Pieces

"React is dead! You haven't switched over to Vue yet??"

#4: Period Pieces

"WASM will make all of this irrelevant"

#4: Period Pieces

"Why fix it, it's just going to break again"

#5: Can't-Do Dweebs

"Let's add PalmOS support before we show it to the customer"

#5: Can't-Do Dweebs

"Perhaps a design pattern shall I seek"

#5: Can't-Do Dweebs

How did we get here?

What's the road out?

The Modern Dev

• Collaborative
• Curious
• Modest
• Big Picture
• Courageous
• Fun

Bad

Good

• Collaborative
• Curious
• Modest
• Big Picture
• Courageous
• Fun

• Isolationist
• Rigid
• Arrogant
• Myopic
• Scared
• Severe

"Good job! Now see if you can decouple that interface."

Who's Good?

"What if we cached it?"

Who's Good?

"Sounds scary- let's do it together"

Who's Good?

"This service should make the app 40% faster, which will decrease bounce rate"

Who's Good?

"I can write a module that will help with that!"

Who's Good?

"Let's learn something new!"

Who's Good?