Brandon Bruce

Dragon Trainer

• Support new adventures
• Develop safe playgrounds
• Fireman

Captain Caveman

• Always has a complaint.
  • Uses a club instead of a scalpel.
• Best handled by outlining an entire process.

Captain Caveman

"The site is slow!!!"

Milton Waddams

• Does not stray from the “known” path.
• Characterized by phrases like “I have always done it this way” or “My internet works, it must be you”.
• You will need to offer proof that your way of thinking can work.

Painting by: Stephen Root

Milton Waddams

Painting by: Stephen Root

“It works when I go to YouTube! I don’t get why your site is so bad. I have 100mbps, so it can’t be my internet.”

Eeyore

• Someone or something is out to get them.
• Mired in their own apathy.
• Will offer little feedback.

Eeyore

"My account is locked. I'm sorry I paid late last year, but I was sick and my dog needed to go to the vet.  I knew you guys would be  mad at me."

Karen

• Polar opposite of Eeyores.
• No hand holding or long-winded explanations.
• Fix the issue or else.

Karen

"I have not been able to use your site for over a week now! This is ridiculous! I need to speak with an actual engineer because this has gone on for too long. I will be canceling my account and telling all my friends to do the same thing!"

Karen 2.0

Karen 2.0

If you can't fix it, just give me my money back!

The 3rd Option

The Entitled

• Users who think you should do the work for them.
• "This is why we pay support!"

"CANCEL MY ACCOUNT!"

The Teenager

• Unable to follow directions?
  • Misreading/misinterpret

The Teenager

"So, I did what you said and opened the terminal and typed in putty, but nothing happened."

Witness Me!

• Need to be recognized for speaking out and appreciated for their voice.
• Seeks out high ranking employees.

Witness Me!

Witness Me!

Be a pirate!

• Everyone has a purpose
• Be inclusive
• Be a brigade, not an island