Has Anyone else Seen
Codemotion Berlin 2018-11-21
Your Host Today
What We Will Cover
Bad Code Will Kill You
Zen and the Art of Code Reviews
20+ years in the industry
5+ years doing code reviews
Read a bunch of blog posts
Extremely muscular body
Code Can (and will) Kill You
Bad Code Is Out To Get You!
Software Bugs cost $60 Billion
- all money except pocket change
- communications around the world
- health instruments and records
- almost all transportation vehicles
state of the art sensors
vs primate in metal box
Self-Driving Car Manufacturers
Do you know what you deploy?
Often we do not know!
It may be weird stuff
(potentially very weird)
It's a human head!
Does code ever work the first time?
Hall of Tortured Souls
Linux 4.17.3: 6 MLOC
$ grep -ir fuck linux-4.17.3 | wc -l 29 $ grep -ir kludge linux-4.17.3 | wc -l 110 $ grep -ir cludge linux-4.17.3 | wc -l 1 $ grep -ir crap linux-4.17.3 | wc -l 195 $ grep -r TODO linux-4.17.3 | wc -l 4825
## Some Highlights * Wirzenius wrote this portably, Torvalds fucked it up :-) /* !!!! THIS IS A PIECE OF SHIT MADE BY ME !!! */
Node.js 10.5.0: 3 MLOC
$ grep -ir fuck node-v10.5.0 | wc -l 25 $ grep -ir kludge node-v10.5.0 | wc -l 22 $ grep -ir crap node-v10.5.0 | grep -v scrap | wc -l 9 $ grep -r TODO node-v10.5.0 | wc -l 2904
## Some Highlights * **help:** fuck it. just hard-code it ([d5d5085](https://github.com/zkat/npx/commit/d5d5085)) * IOW it's all just a clusterfuck and we should think of something that makes slightly more sense.
Java 10.0.1: 3.5 MLOC
$ grep -ir fuck java-10.0.1 | wc -l 1 $ grep -ir kludge java-10.0.1 | wc -l 16 $ grep -ir crap java-10.0.1 | grep -v scrap | wc -l 3 $ grep -r TODO java-10.0.1 | wc -l 2155
## Some Highlights if (uri == null || uri.length() == 0) // crap. the NamespaceContext interface is broken // forces us to clear out crap up to the next * TODO: wrapping message needs easier. in particular properties and attachments.
Unit Tests are great
When someone reviews them!
External tests are awesome
But have to be repeated every time
Microsoft: 1 QA / dev in the 90s
Today: 1 QA / 3 devs
When Pair Programming is not enough
Even Remote Pair Programming
Zen and The Art
of code REview
Judged by a Jury of your Peers
Do Not Rely Solely on Senior Review
Senior Review Creates
a Choke Point
Mandatory Feynman Misquote
I couldn't explain my code to a junior. That means I don't really understand my code.
Encourage Juniors to Ask One Question
Too Many Prima Donnas Already
TReat People Well
Do not give orders; ask questions
Maybe ask questions instead of giving orders?
Isn't it faster to change it than to argue?
Could you accept criticism gracefully?
Don't Troll People
Knowledge is shared around
Disseminate coding culture
Status updates are much faster
It takes long, but not doing it takes longer
Explaining Your Code Is Good
Blame is spread
Other people reviewed
Go straight to the solutions
If Reviews Give You Trouble
Create Your Own Adventure!
Reviews are a process, not a destination
People deploy Code all the time
Juniors Make Great Reviewers
Code Reviews Keep You Honest
Make The Process Explicit
Has Anyone Else Seen Your Code? Berlin Edition
By Alex Fernández