What is NVC?

Non-Violent Communication Assumptions

  • Everybody is capable of compassion for others
  • All actions are attempts to meet a need
  • There are enough resources for everyone's needs to be met. Our choices don't have to be zero-sum.

Language matters. Avoid:

  • Moral judgments
    • ("You shouldn't have done... This was wrong...")
  • Demands
  • Denial of responsibility
  • Comparisons between people, present or not
  • Language about merit 
    • ("I deserve ___...")

Components of NVC

  1. Observation
  2. Feelings
  3. Needs
  4. Request


  • Facts of what happened
  • Use objective language
  • Try not to generalise; be specific


  • How did that incident make you feel?
  • Don't rationalise, judge, assess
  • Be honest


  • What is it that you need?
  • In what way was that need not met?


  • Make a specific request to a specific person
  • Be concrete and positive
  • Be open to "no"


  1. Make an observation
  2. Describe your feeling
  3. Express your need
  4. Articulate a request




What went well 😀


What could have been better 😓


What experiments can we try
between now and the next retro? ⚗

NVC intro + retro qs

By Denise Yu

NVC intro + retro qs

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