When "Good" is Good Enough
A programmer's practical guide to perfectionism
or, "Cultivating a Culture of Compassion"
by Derek DeRaps
aka Hawkeye Tenderwolf
Senior Architect at Kalamuna
Brené Brown is the source of 90% of the following material
Perfectionism as armour against:
Shame ("I'm a fuck-up"), Judgement, Ridicule, and Criticism
The "S" Word:
Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging
Shame:
I am wrong
Guilt:
I did something wrong
Shame is highly correlated with addiction, depression, eating disorders, violence, bullying and aggression.
Guilt? Inversely correlated with those.
Hustling for worth
Procrastination
We procrastinate to avoid shame.
"If I don't do it perfectly I'll experience some vulnerability, shame and loss. I'll feel like a failure."
Enlightenment is not the goal
How do I allow myself to make mistakes and experience criticism?
How do I develop self-compassion?
Vulnerability is uncomfortable
foreach (array_filter($args, 'is_array') as $key => $data) {
foreach ($data as $i => $value) {
...
Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are
Authenticity
Mindfully practicing authenticity during our most soul-searching struggles is how we invite grace, joy, and gratitude into our lives
Resources
http://dublin.tenderwolf.io
- Learn basic spiritual principles for living life via 12-step recovery: AA, Al-Anon, ACOA, CODA, SLAA, etc.
- Christopher Germer's mindful self-compassion meditation, free downloads
- Bliss, gratitude journal
- Somatic therapies
- Therapeutic retreat centers: Esalen, Onsite Workshops, Omega Institute, Mankind Project, New Culture Summer Camp, ...
Challenge: Cultivate two (2!) seconds of pause before sending that email or posting that JIRA comment
Extra Credit: Practice a grounding exercise, listen to a meditation by Chris Germer
Resources
- Learn basic spiritual principles for living life via 12-step recovery: AA, Al-Anon, ACOA, CODA, SLAA, etc.
- Bliss, gratitude journal
- Somatic therapy
- Therapeutic retreat centers: Esalen, Onsite Workshops, Omega Institute, Mankind Project, New Culture Summer Camp, ...
Hawkeye and the Perfect Quest
By Hawkeye Tenderwolf
Hawkeye and the Perfect Quest
- 1,257