The 5 Developers I Never Want To Work With Again
www.kylecoberly.com
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Kyle Coberly
- Educator
- Business dork
- Web app developer
The 5 Developers I Never Want To Work With Again
Categories Of
^
#1: Talented Jerks
The Late-Night Martyr
"Don't worry about me, I'll just get this knocked out over the weekend. Enjoy the party."
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/media-p.slid.es/uploads/167545/images/4038228/ferret.png)
#1: Talented Jerks
The Cowboy
"I need to be alone for the next 40 hours"
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/media-p.slid.es/uploads/167545/images/4038220/squirrel.png)
#1: Talented Jerks
The Rockstar
"Juniors just slow me down"
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/media-p.slid.es/uploads/167545/images/4038226/bun.png)
#1: Talented Jerks
#2: Scared Buttholes
The Pharisee
"If you wanted it, you should have put it in the spec!"
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/media-p.slid.es/uploads/167545/images/4038227/penguin.png)
#2: Scared Buttholes
The Single-Tasker
"I just write tests"
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/media-p.slid.es/uploads/167545/images/4038230/piggy.png)
#2: Scared Buttholes
The Not-My-Jobber
"I don't do design"
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/media-p.slid.es/uploads/167545/images/4038258/panda.png)
#2: Scared Buttholes
The Keeper of Forbidden Knowledge
"Why do you need to see my schema?"
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/media-p.slid.es/uploads/167545/images/4038225/wal.png)
#2: Scared Buttholes
#3: Anti-Social Twerps
The Not-A-People-Person Person
"Shut up and let me code!!"
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/media-p.slid.es/uploads/167545/images/4038224/parrot.png)
#3: Anti-Social Twerps
The Code Masturbator
"Haskell would be the perfect choice. What are we building?"
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/media-p.slid.es/uploads/167545/images/4038231/snek.png)
#3: Anti-Social Twerps
#4: Period Pieces (of shit)
The Storyteller
"In COBOL times we made our own loops, and our apps were better for it!"
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/media-p.slid.es/uploads/167545/images/4038211/goat.png)
#4: Period Pieces
The Incredulous Newb
"React is dead! You haven't switched over to Vue yet??"
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/media-p.slid.es/uploads/167545/images/4038213/chameleon.png)
#4: Period Pieces
The Prognosticator
"WASM will make all of this irrelevant"
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/media-p.slid.es/uploads/167545/images/4038232/wolfie.png)
#4: Period Pieces
#5: Can't-Do Dweebs
The Eeyore
"Why fix it, it's just going to break again"
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/media-p.slid.es/uploads/167545/images/4038217/eyeore.png)
#5: Can't-Do Dweebs
The Gold-Plater
"Let's add PalmOS support before we show it to the customer"
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/media-p.slid.es/uploads/167545/images/4038229/octo.png)
#5: Can't-Do Dweebs
The Philosopher
"Perhaps a design pattern shall I seek"
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/media-p.slid.es/uploads/167545/images/4038218/owl.png)
#5: Can't-Do Dweebs
The Traditional Dev
- Myopic
- Isolationist
- Rigid
- Arrogant
- Scared
- Severe
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/media-p.slid.es/uploads/167545/images/4040578/tumblr_mqv7ebq0QE1r67id1o2_250.gif)
How did we get here?
What's the road out?
The Modern Dev
- Collaborative
- Curious
- Modest
- Big Picture
- Courageous
- Fun
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/media-p.slid.es/uploads/167545/images/4040601/2f96aa8cb5972d3e3dcb0115c3c68148.gif)
Bad
Good
- Collaborative
- Curious
- Modest
- Big Picture
- Courageous
- Fun
- Isolationist
- Rigid
- Arrogant
- Myopic
- Scared
- Severe
The 6 Developers I Always Want To Work With
The Coach
"Good job! Now see if you can decouple that interface."
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/media-p.slid.es/uploads/167545/images/4038246/tiger.png)
Who's Good?
The Experimenter
"What if we cached it?"
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/media-p.slid.es/uploads/167545/images/4038253/cow.png)
Who's Good?
The Sam Gamgee
"Sounds scary- let's do it together"
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/media-p.slid.es/uploads/167545/images/4038239/chickens.png)
Who's Good?
The Parseltongue
"This service should make the app 40% faster, which will decrease bounce rate"
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/media-p.slid.es/uploads/167545/images/4038248/deer.png)
Who's Good?
The Session Musician
"I can write a module that will help with that!"
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/media-p.slid.es/uploads/167545/images/4038240/jelly.png)
Who's Good?
The Perpetual Beginner
"Let's learn something new!"
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/media-p.slid.es/uploads/167545/images/4038255/dolph.png)
Who's Good?
We're Hiring!
Galvanize is hiring big-hearted, hard working educators who also code. Interested? Talk to me after this session.
PSA: If you see this woman...
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Hire her!
![](https://s3.amazonaws.com/media-p.slid.es/uploads/167545/images/1652705/thank-you.gif)
Kyle Coberly
www.kylecoberly.com
The 5 Developers I Never Want To Work With Again
By Kyle Coberly
The 5 Developers I Never Want To Work With Again
Develop Denver 2017
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