20 tips for talking to anyone

Communication is a key skill for anyone striving for success. It's no secret that communicative people have a head start: they are more noticeable, they have a liking for themselves, stand out prominently, they just want to deal with them. Here are some tips from the best psychology books on how to connect with anyone.

Places "smeared with honey"

Typically, communication books impose the fun-loving extrovert approach: pretend carelessness until they become second nature. But this is impossible.

Here's a tip from The Science of Communication . To communicate successfully, you need to know your strengths - and use them wisely. For example, communicate where you feel comfortable.

Anti-perfection

Scientists conducted an experiment: they asked people to listen to a tape in which a student tells how well he did on the test. One group of subjects heard that at the end the student spills a cup of coffee on himself and plants a stain. The other is not. The researchers asked both groups what impression the student made. In the tape where he spilled coffee on himself, the subjects found him more attractive. Mistakes make us human. Show your vulnerability and it will be easier for you to get along with people.

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Don't get hung up

Most of us only think that we stand out a lot. After all, each person is the centre of his universe. Because we are so fixated on our behaviour, it’s difficult for us to correctly assess how intent - or superficial - attention others are paying to us. In fact, there is often a mismatch between how we see ourselves (and think others do too) and how others see us. Most will not notice your mistakes and missteps.

Learn to joke

Not a single speech by the leaders of different countries is complete without a joke, and there can be no more serious and responsible work. The ability to joke helps to reduce the tension of discussing any acute problem. But you have to know how to serve a joke like a delicious dish from the chef. There is no need to rush, and in no case should the speaker himself laugh at his own wit. You can found fun content here.

Look for strings

The theory of connecting threads is an incredibly easy way to start a conversation, and besides, you will always have a few thoughts to continue the conversation. The more common topics, that is, threads, you find, the longer your communication will last - and the more sympathy you will cause. There are three main categories of common conversation topics that can serve you well in any situation - common acquaintances, common interests, and common motives.

Awaken your curiosity

To engage a person in a dialogue, it is necessary to arouse his interest, especially for sales managers . They only care about what is relevant to their business needs, not your product. And remember: you are not trying to sell. You strive to prove that the conversation with you is worth the time.

Communicate as equals

Communicating on an equal footing can be intimidating if you are young or have never worked with people on whom major corporate decisions depend. Understand: they are ordinary people. If in conversation with them you look at them with a dog's devotion, it will affect their trust in you. Focus on their business objectives and the changes you can bring, and they will be interested in communicating with you.

Pause conversations

Often we ask a question and, without listening to the answer, continue to speak further. Another common communication mistake is answering your own question. There are only disadvantages in this: a person will be uncomfortable communicating with us, and we will not learn anything about him, his requests, benefits, and our arguments are likely to be weak and will not affect his decision. That is why every time you ask a question, it is important to pause, give the person an opportunity to answer, and listen to him!

Tune in

You don't have to feel sympathy for everyone, without exception. It will take you more time to establish contacts or apply new behavioural tricks in a place that only makes you feel anxious and uncomfortable. By controlling the place, time and person with whom you will interact, you can set yourself up for success.

Use your hands

The best TED speakers use a specific mechanism to instantly establish trust with their audience: they gesture a lot. The least popular speakers used an average of 272 hand gestures - yes, the analysers scrupulously counted each. The most popular speakers used an average of 465 hand gestures - almost double the number!

Get into a winner pose

Winners usually take up as much physical space as possible. Their posture is often called the "power pose": they raise their arms above their heads, straighten their ribcage, and tilt their heads back. Sometimes we unknowingly strike a loser pose when we check our phone. Imagine tilting your head, crossing your arms over your chest, pressing them tightly against your body, and dropping your shoulders. What do most of us do while waiting for a client or before entering the office where the meeting will take place? Checks the phone! We must put an end to this vicious practice!

Changing the way of thinking

The main barrier to successful communication is your way of thinking, writes Mark Rhodes in How to Talk to Anyone . The development of communication skills will largely depend on how you give meaning to the reaction to your words.

For example, you are trying to talk to someone, and the interlocutor looks away, what meaning will you give it? You might think you did something wrong and conclude that talking to strangers is not okay. And then you are unlikely to seek to strike up conversations with strangers. But what if your interlocutor was just shy? If you give his behaviour that kind of meaning, the result will be very different. Changing your mindset is what helps you overcome your fear and learn to talk to anyone.

Dealing with fear of criticism

A good way to overcome fear is to imagine the worst case scenario and then imagine how you are dealing with the situation. Thus, you mentally mark your fear, and this, in turn, will help you get rid of it or at least reduce it. For example, you may imagine that something is misunderstood and everyone is laughing at you. Now imagine how you say to these people in such a sarcastic tone: "I am very glad that you liked it" or: "I am glad that I made you smile." Imagine yourself as a comedian parrying the lines of the audience.