MAINTAIN POSITIVE TONE

Think of your commentary as personal correspondence with the [writer], something that makes your own thinking visible and permanent. Try to invest in your commentary the tone of a supportive coach—someone interested in the [writer] as a person and in the improvement of [that individual’s] powers as a writer and thinker.
(Bean, 2011, p. 336)

DramatizE the Reader

We know that most students find it difficult to imagine a reader's response in advance, and to use such responses as a guide in composing. Thus, we comment on student writing to dramatize the presence of a reader, to help our students to become that questioning reader themselves, because, ultimately, we believe that becoming such a reader will help them to evaluate what they have written and develop control over their writing.
(Sommers, 1982, p. 148)

DramatizE the ReadeR

Point to instances where your expectations were met or not met, why they were met or not met, and the effect(s) for you as a reader

DramatizE the ReadeR

DramatizE the ReadeR

Add a marginal note on SampleStudentDraft1 that shows how a particular passage impacts you as a reader.

HELP WRITERS PRIORITIZE REVISIONS

Unskilled writers are largely unable to assign levels of importance to comments made on their papers. In other words, they are likely to treat equally a comment that the argument of an essay is confusing and a comment that the essay contains several misspellings. Moreover, since comments on surface errors are more easily addressable (though error types themselves are not necessarily easily and permanently resolved), students are like to attend to them and not to more serious problems in logic, idea development, focus, or order.
“13 Ways of Looking at Responding to Student Writing,” Doug Hesse

HELP WRITERS PRIORITIZE REVISIONS

Identify only 1-3 areas for improvement

Comment on global, higher-order concerns before turning to sentence-level concerns

HELP WRITERS PRIORITIZE REVISIONS

Breanna,
I’m impressed with your first draft of the semester. Your analysis is focused, well-organized, and well-supported with specific examples from the text. Nice work! 

Here are a couple of suggestions to make your analysis stronger:
-Try to use the vocabulary of “pathos” and “logos” in particular. In a rhetorical analysis, your reader will expect you to use these signal words. Using these words, especially at the beginning of a new paragraph, will make it easier for your reader to anticipate what the paragraph will be about. There were some paragraphs were I was unsure if you were talking about logos, pathos, or both in conjunction. 
-In several places in your analysis I felt a little lost (see my comments in the margins). In these places, you could add in one or two key sentences to make your point clearer to the reader.

Thank you for sharing your writing,

HELP WRITERS PRIORITIZE REVISIONS

In an abbreviated SUMMARY LETTER, identify 1 AGENDA ITEM you think would make the most impactful revision. Provide a description of the METHOD and/or NEXT STEPS that the writer might use to address this AGENDA item.

Offer Genuine, Specific PraisE

Praise is important…for its strong motivating force (Lipp, 1995; Ferris & Hedgcock, 1998). An important caveat about praise, however, is that it should not be gratuitous, that is, that it should be genuinely deserved (Hyland & Hyland, 2001)
(Goldstein, 2004, pp. 73-74)

Offer Genuine, Specific PraisE

I found this a compelling argument for why one should study the practices and social structures of Hinduism. 

Without having read either A Game of Thrones and Deathless myself, I was struck by how much you seem to have a command over the plots, characters, and your own interpretations of the texts. 

I really liked your choice to use the acquisition of your CTA card as a way to explore your initial experiences moving to Chicago and starting college. Though the CTA card’s physical presence is considered mundane, like you describe, its significance is for you and your life is deep, which made it fascinating to read about. 

Offer Genuine, Specific PraisE

Add one piece of genuine, specific praise to the SUMMARY LETTER of SampleStudentDraft1.

ADDRESS ERRORS SYSTEMATICALLY

Focus on errors that impede meaning.

ADDRESS ERRORS SYSTEMATICALLY

Mark one or two errors that appear multiple times throughout the paper. Provide a link to a resource that explains how to fix the error (e.g. Purdue Owl, Grammar Girl).