β€œWe need to talk”

How to receive feedback like a boss

Marco Alabruzzo

Engineering Manager

marco.alabruzzo@gmail.com

CTO Craft Con

24 May 2023

FEEDBACK IS

UNCOMFORTABLE

Why Receiving and not Giving?

+

+

=

=

Good feedback

Bad receiver

Bad feedback

Good receiver

Tech Leaders have to speak often

These are the new OKRs

I've created a new WFH policy

We should invest in AI

Great result in the last quarter!

Feedback is a moment when we can show how we listen

How to receive feedback like a boss

Solicit πŸ€”

EmbraceΒ πŸ€—

RepeatΒ πŸ”

Investigate πŸ”Ž

Follow up πŸ€”

SERIF

Solicit πŸ€”

GOAL + BEHAVIOUR = IMPACT

state your

describe your

ask for the

Asking specific questions

Examples

"To reduce meeting time, I've shortened the Team Review.

Do you think we are still covering everything?"

GOAL

BEHAVIOUR

IMPACT

"I want to invest more in your Personal Development;

I changed the agenda of our 1:1. Is this better for you?"

GOAL

BEHAVIOUR

IMPACT

Solicit πŸ€”

Embrace πŸ€—

"I never did that, what I did was a different thing!"

"I did that, but what I wanted to do was..."

INVALIDATING

JUSTIFICATION

"I can fix this by doing that!"

DEFENSIVE

Just focus on listening and asking questions

Embrace πŸ€—

Repeat πŸ”

I understand.

Thank you!

I need a exotic fruit, a sweet one.

Repeat it back πŸ”

I need a exotic fruit, a sweet one.

Do you mean a round one?

No, I need a long one...

Repeat πŸ”

"If I understand you correctly, I did X in situation Y, that caused Z"

"Correct me if I am wrong, you are asking me to do X when Y happens"

Investigate πŸ”Ž

2) The feedback is relevant, and you already knew

3) The feedback is relevant, but you didn't know

1) The feedback is not relevant to you

ASSUME THAT IS ALWAYS THIS

IGNORE

IGNORE

Investigate πŸ”Ž

Examples

To help me understand, can you give me a specific example?

Can you tell me more about how this affected you?

MORE DATA​​​​​​​

IMPACT

Is this affecting others?

Is this going to push back the project?

How often does this happen?

Follow up πŸ€”

Don't commit to actions yet.

Commit to look more into the problem.

Follow up πŸ€”

Your point of view

Feedback

Peers

Mentor

Coach

How to receive feedback like a boss

Solicit πŸ€”

EmbraceΒ πŸ€—

RepeatΒ πŸ”

Investigate πŸ”Ž

Follow up πŸ€”

SERIF

Thank you for listening!

Questions?

Grab me in the break room or ask on Slack

Slides available at

https://slides.com/marcoala/we-need-to-talk-cto-craft/

We need to talk

By Marco Alabruzzo

We need to talk

In teamwork, a culture of feedback is necessary to archive good collaboration and high performance. However, these skills are often overlooked in training programs. This is a step-by-step guide to getting the best out of every feedback session. Each step will be explained, with the concepts of collaboration and conflict resolution behind it.

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