“We need to talk”

How to receive feedback like a boss

Marco Alabruzzo

Engineering Manager

marco.alabruzzo@gmail.com

London Django Meetup

14 March 2023

UNCOMFORTABLE GOODNESS

How does lack of feedback look like

“It’s always being like that, we will never fix it”

“Someone should do something about that”

“Everyone smiles at me, but my last review was terrible.”

Why Receiving and not giving?

+

+

=

=

Good feedback

Bad receiver

Bad feedback

Good receiver

How to receive feedback like a boss

1) Ask for feedback 🤔

2) Brace yourself ⛑

3) Thank and repeat 🙏

4) Clarify 🔎

5) Follow up 🤔

Ask for feedback 🤔

GOAL + BEHAVIOUR = IMPACT

state your

point to your

ask for the

Ask for feedback 🤔

Examples

"I wanted to increase our coverage, so in the last two PRs I did TDD. How do you think that went?"

GOAL

BEHAVIOUR

IMPACT

"I want to shorten our standup; this week I only spoke about blockers.

Do you think that I was giving enough information?"

GOAL

BEHAVIOUR

IMPACT

Brace yourself ⛑

Thank and repeat 🙏

I understand.

Thank you!

 

I am glad we got each other

Thank and repeat 🙏

"If I understand you correctly, I did X in situation Y, that caused Z"

"Correct me if I am wrong, you are asking me to do X when Y happens"

Clarify 🔎

1) The feedback is relevant, and you already knew

2) The feedback is relevant, but you didn't know

3) The feedback is not relevant to you

ASSUME THAT IS ALWAYS THIS

IGNORE

IGNORE

Clarify 🔎

Examples

To help me understand, can you give me a specific example?

"I never did that, what I did was a different thing!"

"I did that, but what I wanted to do was..."

INVALIDATING

DEFENSIVE

CURIOUS

Follow up 🤔

Your point of view

Feedback

Peers

Mentor

Coach

How to receive feedback like a boss

1) Ask for feedback 🤔

2) Brace yourself ⛑

3) Thank and repeat 🙏

4) Clarify 🔎

5) Follow up 🤔

How a culture of feedback looks like

“I want to improve X; what if we try Y

“I noticed that we tend to do Z.”

“When you tried X, that made a difference.”

“I heard of this before.”

Thank you for listening!

Questions?

Slides available at

https://slides.com/marcoala/we-need-to-talk/

We need to talk

By Marco Alabruzzo

We need to talk

In teamwork, a culture of feedback is necessary to archive good collaboration and high performance. Nonetheless, these skills are seldom overlooked in training programs. This is a step-by-step guide to getting the best out of every feedback session. Each step will be explained, with the concepts of collaboration and conflict resolution behind it.

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