Ross Laird
Author, consultant, educator
Addictions and
Pathways of Healing
Personal
History
Parenting
Lifestyle
Mentorship
Relationships
Reminders
Children
Adolescents
Parents
Counsellors
Teachers
Where are
We Now?
(a short list)
Screen Time
Evolution
Development
Addictions
Emotions
Risks
Meals
Car
Bedrooms
(A very, very bad idea.)
Social
Outdoors
Moment of
Honesty
The First Main Issue:
Self-Regulation
Self-Regulation:
The ability to modulate the nervous system (emotions)
It must be learned in childhood and adolescence.
It is correlated with life success and social/emotional health more than any other factor.
It is contingent upon the default mode.
Stillness
Reflection
Wonder
Discovery
Artificial Regulation
Chemistry
(substance addictions)
Attention
(technology addictions)
Same Results
Different
Pathways
Addiction
Self-Regulation Training
Self-Regulation Training
The Second Main Issue:
Absence of Mentorship
200,000 Years
Technology
(substitute mentorship)
Isolation
No
Adulthood
No Mentorship
Mentorhsip
Gap
Belonging
Trust
Emotional Safety
Autonomy
Identity
Empowerment
Mentorsip
Completes
Belonging
Hallucinogens
Fantasy
Trust
Opioids
Television
Social Media
Autonomy
Stimulants
Strategic Gaming
Identity
Identification
Empowerment
Alcohol
Violent Gaming
Addictions
Temporarily Complete
No completion without mentorship.
No completion without self-regulation.
No identity and adulthood
without completion.
Escape
Dissociation
Flight Response
Hallucinogens
Fantasy
Solace
Depression
Freeze Response
Opioids, Social Media
Screen Solace
Departure
Anxiety
Orienting Response
Stimulants, Gambling
Strategic Gaming
Disguise
Artificial Self
Artificial Balance
Marijuana
Identification
Defiance
Anger
Fight Response
Alcohol
Violent Gaming
Addictions
(for families)
Age 0-3
Zero screen time
Age 4-6
Self-regulation training
Age 6-9
Collaborative development.
No devices in bedrooms!
Age 15-18
Self-regulation completion
through mentorship!
Guidelines
Age 9-15
Collaborative management,
shared homework
The Essence of Mentorship
A mentor is someone who can assist a child (or adult) to complete their unfinished childhood themes and to further develop their character.
After parenting, it is the most important role a human being can undertake (despite the low status it earns).
Counsellors are mentors.
The Essential Goals of
Adolescent Mentorship
To help youth complete traumatic
or fragmented childhood development.
1
To help youth develop
self-awareness, empathy, and character.
2
Start Here
Explore the emotional benefits that clients derive
from online and addictive cultures...
and find ways of meeting those emotional needs
also in the non-online world.
And Do This
Try to make it fun...
Be Honest
(about your use)
Exposure
(avoid early)
Naloxone
(kits to every kid)
Mentorship
(alternatives to partying)
Strategy
(partying culture)
Substance
Addictions
Prevention
Culture of Endorsement
Artificial
Regulation
Substitute
Self
Cognitive Impairment
(unnoticed)
Absence of Clarity
(moment)
Marijuana
(challenges)
A Solution?
This suggests a focus on
group work for counsellors.
Healthy Groups
The impulse to form groups is healthy.
But without healthy adult mentors,
adolescents form youth gangs.
Addictions are the result
(other bad things also).
Development Requires Risk
(Safe Risk)
for Clients
Belonging
Trust
Autonomy
Mentorship
Hope
Emotional
Safety
for Clients
Core
Values
Growth
Mindset
Meta-
cognition
Healing
Trauma and
Addictions
Self-
regulation
Self-
Awareness
for Client Groups
Apply the
No Asshole
Rule
Cultivate
Relationships
Protect
Relationships
Curb
Asshole
Behaviour
Empathic
Listening
Empathy
Development
for Clients
Ethical
Principles
Speaking the
Unspoken
Personal
Responsibility
Mentorship
of
Others
Resilience and Conflict
Resolution
Character
Development
for Escapists
Running
Calibration of
Self-regulation
Focus Events
Challenging Dissociation
Competition
Safe Fighting
High Intensity
Cultivation of Presence
Group Events
Cultivation of Belonging
Activities
Group
Running
Calibration of
Self-regulation
Strength Training
Cultivation of Containment
Competition
Safe Fighting
Mindfulness
Cultivation of Presence
for Solace
Activities
Group Events
Cultivation of Belonging
Trail
Running
Calibration of
Self-regulation
Craft Work
Containment and Expression
Competition
Safe Fighting
Strategy
Cultivation of
Active Choosing
Group Events
Cultivation of Belonging
for Departure
Activities
Mountain
Running
Calibration of
Self-regulation
Craft Work
Containment and Expression
Collaboration
Cultivation of Teamwork
Stillness
Cultivation of
Wonder
Mindfulness
Cultivation of Self-regulation
for Defiance
Activities
Race
Training
Development of
True Self-regulation
Culture
Authentic Identity Development
beyond Slacker Culture
Outdoors
Calibration through Nature
Mentorship
Developing Core Values
and Direction
for Disguise
Activities
Education
Easing through Denial
Just One More Thing...
Keep Going
Be Consistent, Engaged,
and Purposeful.
Get in touch if you get stuck.
ross@rosslaird.com
slides.com/rosslaird/addictions
Addictions and Pathways of Healing
By Ross Laird
Addictions and Pathways of Healing
A presentation for counsellors and teachers on the evolution of addictions.
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