All those times
we broke
WaffleJS, 2018-11-07
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What are we talking about?
Warning:
extreme levels of profanity ahead
I stole this talk idea
from
#1: The certificate outage
February 2014
We broke the registry a lot in January 2014
SSL in Node.js used to be a lot harder
Migrations are hard
This is going to be a theme
DOUBLE FUCK
Rolling back is hard,
even harder when everyone is yelling at you.
What did we learn?
- We are bigger than we thought!
- We can never change cert providers 🙁
- Have a rollback plan
#2: The password change outage
April 2014
CouchDB
was not a good idea
Load at 100%
no matter how big a box we buy.
WTF?
Password change errors
Fucked by silent string conversions
Infinite loops will fuck you
What did we learn?
- Couch is a terrible fucking database
- Don't roll your own... anything
- Don't ignore "small" errors
#3: left-pad
March 2016
Kik me
Then we fucked up
by not having a clear policy
404: left-pad not found
I will feel genuinely bad about left-pad forever
What did we learn?
- Unpublishes are really dangerous
- Unpublishes are impossible after 24 hours
What did we learn?
- We're even bigger now
- Ignore vague legal threats
- Hire a damn lawyer
- Have clear policies
#4: Cloudflare migration
May 2018
We broke somebody else's registry
Infinite loop AGAIN, motherfucker
DOUBLE FUCK
Who deploys on a Friday???
What did we learn?
- Don't deploy on a Friday
- Don't have hard deadlines based on early estimates
- We are so big we are responsible for stuff we're not even responsible for
We have fucked up so many more times
I need a longer talk to cover them all
@seldo
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All those times we broke the registry
By seldo
